Many older adults grew up in homes with a single telephone — typically a corded landline mounted on the kitchen wall. There were no apps, notifications or social media, just one household device often monitored closely by parents who could easily overhear every conversation.
Fast forward to today, and smartphones have become constant companions, packed with everything from family photos and games to news and messaging apps. Yet as older generations have adapted to this technology later in life, their habits can sometimes clash with the expectations of younger users who have grown up with digital devices from the start.
This generational divide has led to sharply different ideas about what is considered polite, efficient and appropriate when using a mobile phone.
According to etiquette expert Jo Hayes, the distinction is clear.
“I hate to be the one to say this, but older people, especially Boomers, have atrocious phone hygiene. As a general rule and observation, I see younger people doing much better.”
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Jodi RR Smith, author of “From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Woman & Manners for the Modern Man,” said older adults often regard technology as something external rather than an extension of everyday life.
“Older people see technology as separate from themselves,” Smith said. “Once something is installed, they’ll rarely review or delete anything, if ever. Also, they’re from a generation that experienced entire documents disappearing from clunky computers, even when saved properly, and as a result they tend to have a healthy distrust of tech.”
“For younger people, the same trepidation isn’t there,” Smith said. “They see technology as an extension of themselves, sort of a combination entertainer, constant friend and electronic security blanket. As soon as a new app or upgrade is released, they’re ready to swap it into their phones.”
These contrasting attitudes help explain why certain phone behaviours common among older users can seem awkward or inconsiderate to younger generations.
Unexpected Phone Calls Without Warning
For many older adults, a ringing phone has always demanded an immediate response. But for younger people, receiving an unannounced call can feel intrusive and stressful.
“I’m 44, and I’m definitely the last ‘calling’ generation,” said Brittany Smith, a technology coach. “But even though I grew up happily talking on the phone with friends, I do understand the uncertainty and anxiety that an unexpected phone call can bring. We’re overloaded and overstimulated anyway, and that ring can make things feel very tense.”
She contrasted this with her father’s habit of answering every incoming call, regardless of what he is doing at the time.
“He always picks up, no matter what, and he’ll dive right into a conversation with someone, no matter where he is,” she said.
Overly Long Text Messages And Group Chat Replies
Older users are also known for treating text messages like formal letters, often sending lengthy updates that stretch across multiple messages.
Diane Gottsman, owner of The Protocol School of Texas, said her Gen Z children have encouraged her to keep texts shorter and more direct.
“They don’t like it when you leave a text like you’re sending a letter,” she said. “If it’s so long you have to break it up into multiple texts, avoid writing a novel and get to the point.”
She added that signing messages with your name or introducing yourself in voicemail — “This is Mom” — is another habit associated with older users.
“Don’t respond to group chats with unnecessary comments, and don’t forward annoying things like chain letters,” she said. “And whatever you do, please give yourself a quick tutorial on the meaning of emojis. Use them sparingly and accurately.”
Forgetting To Lock The Smartphone Screen
Failing to lock a phone after using it can lead to accidental calls and messages — something Jo Hayes says she frequently sees among older adults.
“You need to lock your phone screen when you’re finished, but I’ve noticed that most older people will send a message, then put their phone straight in their pocket or handbag,” Hayes said. “I can’t count the number of pocket-dials I’ve had from my Boomer dad. Almost every time I’m with him, I have to remind him to just click the side button.”
Brittany Smith recommends enabling auto-lock and setting it to activate after 30 seconds to reduce the risk of accidental taps.
Accidentally Leaving The Flashlight On
One surprisingly common issue is older users unknowingly turning on their phone’s flashlight.
Catherine, a Chicago barista who asked not to use her real name, said she notices this regularly while serving customers.
“Boomers out in the wild don’t seem to know it’s happening, but they’re shining it in the eyes of service workers while ordering coffee, for example. Honestly, sometimes it’s almost blinding.”
Brittany Smith suggests removing the flashlight shortcut from the lock screen and replacing it with a less disruptive option.
A Reminder That Every Generation Gets Its Turn
While younger people may find these habits amusing, etiquette experts say the teasing should be taken lightly.
“One of the best things about getting older is simply having the depth of experience to know that those young people can have their fun snickering now, but they’ll eventually be snickered at by those in future generations,” Jodi Smith said.
Today’s digital natives may be confident with smartphones, but one day they too could be struggling with technology that seems second nature to those who come after them.
